Well, I was certainly enjoying it and have found it very productive, and had a dozen or so more posts in me. Is your audience not enjoying the exchange?
It has been a fun way of communicating and I will remain open to more if you, or some of your friends, ever want to start it back up. I'll probably publish the rest of my posts anyway :)
Ah, I see. I think perhaps we came into this with different goals. My goal was never to persuade you, or 'find an intersectionality'. My goal was to listen to your perspective, and give mine. Knowing we started from different places, and knowing we would probably end up in different places, I was writing not so much for you... as for our joint audience. People who wished to hear about gentle parenting, and learn what its goals were etc. People who wondered how any fool could even object to gentle parenting. Build a good book list together of great books (that happened to bring forward a bunch of things we each agree on).
I love talking to, and listening to, those who disagree with me. I would love to know what you see the father's role in parenting to be, and how it differs from the mothers. What great civilisations you believe were founded on gentle parenting. How you feel about riding on motorcycles...
I am still interested in hearing from you... even without... what was it? 'points of intersection'? And what does 'balance goodness and guilt' even mean???
Do you really think no one was reading your posts?
I came into this back and forth to make a very specific point. I didn’t think I would change your mind about parenting, but I thought I might open your mind to a new possibility.
My point is that parenting a child with a strong sense of right and wrong is not the same thing as using corporal punishment. People are nostalgic for a world where children knew right from wrong. They attribute that to the types of enforcement employed in that era. I don’t think the two are related.
Parents today operate in a profound moral confusion. They cannot define right and wrong, that is why their children cannot comply with or explain moral behavior. It’s not because children are taught moral messages, just not strongly enough.
My point was that clear moral instruction is not synonymous with strong punishments- corporal or otherwise. I thought I might open your mind to that possibility on an abstract level.
I do not want to defend modern mainstream parenting. I’m not a fan. I would call a lot of modern parenting “harsh;” telling a child that if they don’t pick up their toys that the toys get thrown in the garbage is harsh. It’s not corporal punishment but I will not defend parenting I see as harsh. My worldview does not fit with the typical gentle parenting because I follow a very specific moral system. I use gentle parenting methods in service of that moral system.
My moral standards for our children are very high and very specific. It is most definitely not a free for all.
My version of gentle parenting is that the *methods* are gentle; but the *standards* are not hazy.
That was my point. It’s a nuanced point most people are not interested in, and I get that.
I don’t want to defend all sorts of philosophies I don’t agree with. I don’t think I’ve come any closer to making my point than I did when we started.
I want to raise children where one child knows to button their younger sibling’s coat when it’s cold outside and they think their mother isn’t watching. I have done that. I thought someone might be curious how. But I’m not terribly surprised that no one does.
So you don’t feel like you’ve major point very well in your posts? Do you understand some of the questions and problems that I have with what you seem to be talking about?
It seems to me like you have the germ of a couple or even several more posts in what you’ve just written above.
This is great, I one hundred percent agree with your take. This is what I strive for as a mother.
And my response is up...
https://vonwriting.substack.com/p/parthenogenic-people
I think our viewpoints have moved so far from each other that I can’t imagine that further back and forth would be productive.
I thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to do a letter exchange with you.
It was a great learning experience.
Such a wonderful mode of communication and disagreement and I gained so much from it.
Well, I was certainly enjoying it and have found it very productive, and had a dozen or so more posts in me. Is your audience not enjoying the exchange?
It has been a fun way of communicating and I will remain open to more if you, or some of your friends, ever want to start it back up. I'll probably publish the rest of my posts anyway :)
I don’t think I have an audience. 😂
I think that our perspectives have shifted too far to find a point of intersection.
I would still be interested in reading your pieces. Definitely.
Ah, I see. I think perhaps we came into this with different goals. My goal was never to persuade you, or 'find an intersectionality'. My goal was to listen to your perspective, and give mine. Knowing we started from different places, and knowing we would probably end up in different places, I was writing not so much for you... as for our joint audience. People who wished to hear about gentle parenting, and learn what its goals were etc. People who wondered how any fool could even object to gentle parenting. Build a good book list together of great books (that happened to bring forward a bunch of things we each agree on).
I love talking to, and listening to, those who disagree with me. I would love to know what you see the father's role in parenting to be, and how it differs from the mothers. What great civilisations you believe were founded on gentle parenting. How you feel about riding on motorcycles...
I am still interested in hearing from you... even without... what was it? 'points of intersection'? And what does 'balance goodness and guilt' even mean???
Do you really think no one was reading your posts?
I came into this back and forth to make a very specific point. I didn’t think I would change your mind about parenting, but I thought I might open your mind to a new possibility.
My point is that parenting a child with a strong sense of right and wrong is not the same thing as using corporal punishment. People are nostalgic for a world where children knew right from wrong. They attribute that to the types of enforcement employed in that era. I don’t think the two are related.
Parents today operate in a profound moral confusion. They cannot define right and wrong, that is why their children cannot comply with or explain moral behavior. It’s not because children are taught moral messages, just not strongly enough.
My point was that clear moral instruction is not synonymous with strong punishments- corporal or otherwise. I thought I might open your mind to that possibility on an abstract level.
I do not want to defend modern mainstream parenting. I’m not a fan. I would call a lot of modern parenting “harsh;” telling a child that if they don’t pick up their toys that the toys get thrown in the garbage is harsh. It’s not corporal punishment but I will not defend parenting I see as harsh. My worldview does not fit with the typical gentle parenting because I follow a very specific moral system. I use gentle parenting methods in service of that moral system.
My moral standards for our children are very high and very specific. It is most definitely not a free for all.
My version of gentle parenting is that the *methods* are gentle; but the *standards* are not hazy.
That was my point. It’s a nuanced point most people are not interested in, and I get that.
I don’t want to defend all sorts of philosophies I don’t agree with. I don’t think I’ve come any closer to making my point than I did when we started.
I want to raise children where one child knows to button their younger sibling’s coat when it’s cold outside and they think their mother isn’t watching. I have done that. I thought someone might be curious how. But I’m not terribly surprised that no one does.
Wow, that almost seems like a post :-)
So you don’t feel like you’ve major point very well in your posts? Do you understand some of the questions and problems that I have with what you seem to be talking about?
It seems to me like you have the germ of a couple or even several more posts in what you’ve just written above.
Yes.
Thee end
😁